Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
