i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
