You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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