Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
