The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
