An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
