kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
