im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
