Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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