ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
