who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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