More tranny stories later!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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