What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
did you just send me my own nude
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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