I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize