i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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