That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
