hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
