You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize