Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
