OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
