I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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