yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
