ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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