I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
