she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
