yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
