Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
