We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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