All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
