I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
