Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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