Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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