Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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