the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
