Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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