Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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