Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
