I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
