I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
