Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize