I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
