I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize