I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
