Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize