I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize