Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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