OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize