The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
