they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
