Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
