Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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