Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
