4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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