Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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