the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
