I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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