are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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