Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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