do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
