So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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