I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
