she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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