At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Quick, to the slutcave!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
