There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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