Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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