how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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