At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
