is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i drank out of a bidet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize