Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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