She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
