girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize