$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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