So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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