I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
