sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
