Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Randomize
