I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
