There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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